As soon as I completed my schooling,
there was an immense excitement deep within to enter a whole new world. A new
world where there would be guys and girls in a single classroom (having been in
a girls school for twelve years). A world which will have its own set of
enthusiasm and challenges. A world which
will be completely different from the present one. I was entering the junior
college and the first day itself was no less than an adventure to me. After
conquering my tenth grade with scores that could be announced to the world, I
stepped into this new world with magnanimous confidence.
As time
passed, I wanted to get into that group which was supposedly the most
“HAPPENING GROUP” of our college. The group that bunked lectures and went for
movies, frequent overnight trips, and every Saturday night party at the club.
Little did I realize, that I could not be a part of that group with the way I
was. I needed to work on my dressing sense, my talking skills, my attitude, my
language and almost every other thing. Me being a very quiet person, I tried my
level best to show that I can also talk (nonsense) endlessly and entertain
others. I tried to draw attention in every possible way and impress others with
my talks and knowledge. In the course of time, I started getting away from my
best buddy (myself) to get closer to the external buddies. I continued to
strive to portray myself as a different person than what Swati actually was and
there was big gap that was created within me.
As I experienced
this stage and beyond, I gradually realized, these are just some small
temptations life offers me, I need to stay away from them. I also should not
get into the “Impress Trap” which will enforce me to be a person I am not so
that I am accepted. Instead, I must be expressive and this will happen if and
only if, I love myself. I must always express my true opinion, irrespective of
people around me liking it or not, which will help me boost my self-confidence.
I must ensure that I express my true feelings and love towards the people
around me, which will make me genuinely lovable.
Today, I love myself and accept myself
totally with my potentials and limitations. I am proud to break the “Impress
Trap” and I no longer seek attention from others. I know I am good and am
filled with intense self confidence. I prefer being called a ‘Genuine girl’ to
being addressed as a ‘Cool girl’. I know I have developed friendships that will
last a lifetime. I also know I have left a mark on a few lives I have come
across.
These few words have transformed my life. I pray it does the
same to you.
“Live
life to express, not to impress. Don't strive to make your presence noticed,
just make your absence felt.”
Swati
Rediscovering the world - Inside and Outside
